MUKHOUTA

MAINE MUKHOTON PE MUKHOTE PEHNE,
CHEHRON PE CHEHRE PEHNE.
AASUON KO AANKHON MAIN CHHUPAYA,
HASI KE JHUTE GEHNE PEHNE.


MAINE MUKHOTON PE MUKHOTE PEHNE.....


KABHI KALA TOH KABHI SAFED,
MAINE JEEVAN KA HAR RANG PEHNA.
DIL KE TUTE TUKDON KO PEHNA,
TADAP MAIN DOOBI SUNI RAATEIN PEHNI.


MAINE MUKHOTON PE MUKHOTE PEHNE.


APNE AASUON MAIN DUSRON KI HASI MILAYI,
KUCH AISE AJEEB LAMHE PEHNE.
BEETE HUE LAMHON KI YAADEIN PEHNI,
KUCH ADHURE SAPNE PEHNE.


MAINE MUKHOTON PE MUKHOTE PEHNE.

The Key To Happiness!!!

"Where there is no vision, the people perish"

It seems that the people also perish, when expectations aren't met. I believe though, that there is a difference between vision and expectations.

Expectation is a feeling that seems to just happen to us and rears it's ugly head when our expectations aren't met. Someone does the opposite of what we expected them to do and our ambiguous expectations become crystal clear as they're framed by disappointment. A lot of expectations aren't revealed until it's too late. When our expectations are revealed after the fact, it makes expectation look and feel dishonest. Expectation is a lonely job, often capped by deciding "we just won't have any expectations", believing we are insulating ourselves from the disappointments of life. Most of the time though, we don't consciously form our expectations, they pop up as a reaction to everyday situations.

But vision.... Vision is glorious. Vision is life-giving. Vision births a dream in advance and works to honestly clarify authentic direction. Vision leaves room for change, growth, and the unexpected. We never need to be protected from vision, because it is fluid and in motion, it can handle changes in direction. Vision is an overall guide, the goodness of what we want things to be. It is alive and active. Vision respectfully includes others and never quits, never gives up.

Life is a great learning experience. From a very childhood I had to struggle for each and every thing that I wanted and I thought I deserved. At an age when most teenagers are busy either in books or in opposite sex I was interested in finding an answer for my continuous dissatisfaction from life. I had a vision for myself (which I still have.) and many expectations from ‘n’ number of people around me. And it is when my expectations didn’t meet I felt devastated, I felt cheated and all such “self pity” types of feelings. Many times I cursed GOD for my sorrow and dissatisfaction. There were times when I thought my friends will be by my side and when I looked around I saw none! My mistake that, I expected from wrong people. And thus the story of my unhappy life continued…..
Love is a great spiritual feeling. When I fell in love I truly climbed the ladders of life. It taught me the art of ‘forgiveness’ and ‘selflessness’. It gave me the power to understand other person’s prospective and helped me a lot to have a crystal clear vision. I owe a lot to the feeling that dwells in my heart each and every moment. Today I am a happy person even though my life is not what I had pictured and this is due to the fact that I have given up the habit of expecting from other people. Today my expectations are only from myself. I love a girl who doesn’t love me, but that doesn’t make me unhappy because today I don’t expect her to love me in return, but I expect myself to love her with all my heart and soul. Today my expectations are only from myself. Today I believe that I have to achieve all my dreams and my visions on my own and if somebody helps me in the process it’s a boon for me. Today I am happy because there is no one who can made me sad by not fulfilling my expectations. So the Key to happiness is to expect only from your own self and not from others.
But not having any expectations from other doesn’t mean that you should not trust anyone, because if a person doesn’t trust anyone than he himself is not to be trusted. As trust and expectations are very different things which we generally correlate.
Here is a poem that I found on the internet which says what love without expectation means:
Love Without Expectation
By Donna Konias

You hold us close, O God,
without judgment or hesitation.
We look to You for fulfillment
that we may love without expectation.

Like David we seek You.
Like David we love You.
Like David we fear You
and put no one above You.

Together, we break through this world,
and turn the tables upside down.
Together, we move mountains,
and pick up all that has been cast down.

And in all that we have or don't have,
You have shown us
that we are enough.

You hold us close, O God,
without judgment or hesitation.
We look to You for fulfillment
that we may love without expectation.

As always…

I reached Howrah station; Rajdhani was already being placed on platform number two. I hurriedly boarded it. I dragged my luggage up to my berth. I occupied my seat and settled down. My fellow passenger was a lady, she was sitting in front of me and was deep into some novel named “The wreck” by Rabindranath Tagore. I looked at her, she looked familiar, as if I have seen this face before….doubts began to creep into my mind, she is ‘she’…or she isn’t ‘she’….. She was simple looking woman, but I must admit she was beautiful. It was a cold rainy night and none of us bothered to “break the ice”.

I went for the reservation chart, as I always used to do in my college days to find if there is any pretty girl of my age or not. I identified her as Shila mukherjee. I was thinking hasn’t she recognized me? She was my classmate!! But not any other classmate, she was special…….

It was about 11pm and she arranged her berth to go to sleep. Though I didn’t felt like sleeping I laid down, closing my eyes. Scenes from the past flooded my eyes……


It was a bus journey back home from school, when we had our first conversation. She was clever and witty in her answers. After that it was a normal thing for us to talk with each other, going back home. She was new in the school and we had many things to talk about.
One fine day she asked me, with her bright lively eyes looking into mine, “do you have a girlfriend ”? I lost it into her eyes, it seamed as if they are telling me to tell the truth or else they will peep into my heart and will find the answer on their own. I was left with no choice, I told the truth. With a proud smile I said, “nope!! I don’t have a girlfriend”. I got down from the bus but the whole way up to my home the question ranged in my mind, time and again. A crush was developed, and then every single day I waited eagerly for the bus ride. She became a close friend and a very close friend indeed.

It was last days of October, I was waiting for her to come to school today. This was our last day before the yearly Diwali break. She was absent and I was absent minded!! The whole day I missed her, especially in the bus.

When I came back from my extended Diwali holidays the whole scene was changed. Someone pasted a rubbish poster of her and she was suspecting me!! I felt devastated. The thin layer of our newly formed friendship got shattered. We were not at talking terms. We parted our ways.

It was annual sports day and she stood second in a 200m race. While returning back I made sure she is in the same bus as I am in. She was sitting on a front seat. I went to her, and extended my hand to congratulate her, she refused to shake hands with me. I looked at my, “ then so dirty” hands and then retreated.
Earlier on that day I had seen her with a senior guy. I knew it’s too late now.

Few months after, she came to know that I was not at all involved in it. We again started talking. In a blind hope to restore every broken piece together I accepted her as a friend. But she was committed to someone else now, and that made a huge difference. I didn’t realize when I started feeling the “L- word” for her, but when I lost her I realize what she meant for me. Our journey continued and of late I started maintaining a distance from her. But the feeling was still there, optimistically waiting to be recognized.


Few years down the line, we again became close friends after she broke away with him. The same bus journey again started, and when I used to see her laugh, I used to feel solace in my heart. But one thing was missing... the spark in her eyes!!

It was last few months of our schooling and again a misunderstanding broke between us...

I got selected in an engineering college. I wanted to share this good news with her but couldn’t. I cried whole night before leaving Farakka; the whole pillow was wet. I wanted to see her again. To tell it to her, how much she means for me. With a hope to meet her some day I bid Farakka goodbye!


I joined college and went busy with its hectic lifestyle. After 4 years I got placed in Infosys and was traveling today on an official tour.
I opened my eyes. She was looking at me. As soon as she saw me looking at her, she started looking outside the window. In the morning light her face looked more beautiful. Her eyes looked pale. She looked like a sad, lifeless but a beautiful statue waiting for a soul to get into life. I was thinking has she recognized me? Many questions stormed my brain. ““Is she married” “ where is she going” “how is her mother” “IS SHE HAPPY”, were some of the questions I wanted to ask. I asked her, “ Where are you going”? She replied, “Delhi”. I again asked, “ you came to kolkata for…..”? “ Family function”, she replied. I noticed she wasn’t wearing any jewelry, not even Mngalsutra. She didn’t even supported Sindoor. I concluded she is still single.


The train stopped at Patna station. I went down and brought two cups of coffee. I gave her one with more milk, as she always liked one with more milk. She refused saying that she doesn’t like coffee. As always she never accepted any thing from me. I was amazed to see that her taste has changed. I drank mine and started working on my laptop. She was busy in her novel “ The Wreck”.

The train halted at Lucknow. She helped me carry my luggage up to the door. Sushila was waiting for me on the platform. My three months old son was in her arms. I got down from train. She was still standing there. The train blew its whistle. The train started moving. I looked into her eyes. It was filled with tears, but she managed to stop them from flowing. As always she didn’t expressed he feelings. I left the station and the train too.

Just one question came into my mind, “ Was she waiting for me”?



Ajesh kumar Sharma.

24th may 2008

On 26th I have my EME exam. I opened my copy but suddenly few lines started flowing in my mind. The left page was empty and I wrote this:

I feel empty from within.
Without you, it’s nothing that I can think.
I don’t know, what to except from life,
I just want you to be by my side.

The taste of life, the feel of touch,
It’s all gone with you.
I stretch my hand in dark,
And think, if I could ever see you?

I don’t know what has gone wrong’
Those feelings were so strong?
I want you back again,
Without you what I feel is just pain.

Every time your thought creeps into my mind,
It brings a smile on my face.
And when I realize you aren’t with me,
My eyes turn into a tear filled lake.

But one thing I would like to tell you,
That, the pain and joy that came with you,
I love them and I will love them forever,
Because “I LOVE YOU”!!!

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WELL FRIENDS, TODAY I AM UPLOADING MY BLOG AFTER A VERY LONG TIME. AFTER SURFING AND SCRATCHIN THROUGH INTERNET I CAME TO KNOW THAT, WE MAY EARN MONEY VERY EASILY WITHOUT INVESTING ANY MONEY FROM OUR POCKETS!! SOUNDS INTERESTING, ISN’T?

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I HOPE YOU WILL FIND THE ABOVE INFORMATION USEFUL. I MYSELF IS USING THIS BLOG FOR AVERTISEMENT. SO WHEN YOU SEE SOME ADVERTISEMENTS HERE THEN PLEASE DO ME A FAVOUR BY CLICKING SOME OF THEM AND HELP ME MAKE MY POCKET HEAVY!!!

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUERRY BUBBLING IN YOUR MIND THEN ASK ME, I WILL TRY TO ANSWERE ALL YOUR QUERRIES AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE.

IN MIDST OF SORROW; A PINCH OF HAPPINESS!!

WHEN I WAS GOING TO KOLKATA FOR MY COUNCELLING, I WAS SURE THAT I WOULD GET A GOOD ENGG COLLEGE AROUND KOLKATA IF NOT IN KOLKATA. BUT WHEN I REACHED THE COUNCELLING CENTRE, I WAS AMAZED TO SEE HUGE AMMOUNT OF CROUD. I THOUGHT HOW COULD THERE BE SO MANY PEOPLE FOR COUNCELLING FORM BENGAL. THEY WERE SIITING ON GROUND, PAVEMENT, IN NEAR BY PARK AND EVERY PLACE THEY THOUGHT SITABLE. MANY OF THEM WERE SITTING ON PAPER SHEETS, WHICH THEY SPREAD ON THE GROUND. THERE WAS TENSHION IN THE AIR. EVERY ONE WAS THINKING ABOUT COLLEGES THEY SHOULD OPT FOR. WHEN I WENT TO GATHER THE INFORMATION ABOUT COLLEGES AVAILABLE, I WAS SHOCKED TO SEE THAT ONLY FEW COLLEGES ARE LEFT WHICH ARE CONSIDERED THE WORST ENGG COLLEGES IN W.B. I WAS OBVIOUSLY SAD. MY DREAMS OF GETTING A COLLEGE AROUND KOLKATA WERE SHATTERED.

I LOOKED AROUND AND SAW MANY FACES WHICH WERE DISAPPOINTED LIKE ME. THEN I HEARD A VOICE. IT WAS A FATHER ASKING HIS SON “ KI BA KAUNHO SEAT BACHALBA?” THEN I REALISED THESE FOLKS ARE FROM BIHAR. MY STATE BIHAR.THEN I BEGAN TO FOCOUS MY EAR ON THERE VOICES AND I DISCOVERED THAT MANY OF THEM WERE FROM BIHAR. INFACT A MAJOR SECTION OF PEOPLE WERE FROM BIHAR. I HEARD A BENGALI VOICE ONLY ONCE. IT FELT QUITE STRANGE TO SEE SO MANY BIHARI STUDENTS IN BENGAL. THOUGH I WAS SAD I FELT PROUD TO SEE SO MANY BIHARIS WORKING HARD TO EARN THEIR EDUCATION. I REALISED THAT THERE IS NO DEARTH OF TALENTED PEOPLE IN BIHAR BUT THE ONLY PROBLEM IS OPORTUNITIES AVAILABLE TO THEM IN BIHAR. IN COMPARISON TO BENGAL, WHERE THERE ARE 60 PRIVATE ENGG COLLEGES, THERE ARE ONLY 2 IN BIHAR. SO PEOPLE IN BIHAR LOOK OUTSIDE THERE STATE FOR THERE EDUCATION. WHERE EVER YOU WILL GO YOU WILL FIND BIHARIS. THEY SPEND HUGE SUM OF MONEY ON EDUCATION. IF THERE WERE OPORTUNITIES AVAILABLE TO THEM IN BIHAR THERE WAS NO NEED FOR THEM TO GO TO KARNATAKA, MAHARASTRA, WEST BENGAL AND OTHER STATES.

THIS YEAR A LOT OF PEOPLE DIDN’T APPEARED FOR BIHAR JOINT, RATHER THEY OPTED FOR WEST BENGAL JOINT AS THE DATES WERE CLASHING. THEY FIND A GREAT OPORTUNITIES IN OTHER STATE WITH COMPARISON TO BIHAR.

TODAY THERE IS A HUGE POPULATION OF EDUCATED NRBS (NON-RESIDENTIAL BIHARIS). IF WE JOIN HANDS TOGETHER AND ACT IN ONE DIRECTION I.E. BETTERMENT OF BIHAR THEN I AM SURE WE CAN TURN THRE FORTUNES OF BIAHR.

WELL, I LEFT FOR SHEALDAH BEFORE MY TERM CAME TO GO HOME AS I HAD TO ARRANGE FOR MY NEXT COUNCELLING IN SIKKIM MANIPAL.

AJESH KUMAR SHARMA

WHY I M HERE

“BLOG” this was the word whose meaning I didn’t knew. I read about it in newspaper and wondered what it is and what this great fuss about blogs are made in newspaper. It was only when ,I experienced it on google , I understood its importance. It has great potential in churning out one’s feelings which generally die within the walls of heart.
It is quite inexpensive way to put your view point in front of the whole world.

I developed a hobby of searching blogs and reading them . it almost became an obsession with me. But of late I have decided to make my own blog and try to write some stuff.

This is my first attempt in blogging . I will try to update it regularly. I hope I will be able to take you all people on a great journey with me in my world of expression.

Wish you all a happy and enjoyable reading.